“These are really strong feelings that kids actually have,” said Dr. Barbara Howard, a nationally known developmental behavioral pediatrician and assistant professor of pediatrics at the Johns Hopkins School of Medicine. “They really do love each other”(end of quote ).
"Some boys propose to girls", states Dr. Joyce Harrison, director of preschool psychiatry programs at Johns Hopkins Children’s Center.
"But this role-playing is often more than play. Parents and teachers shouldn’t laugh at it. These are genuine feelings that should be respected and accepted" (end of quote).
The problem these days is that parents do not invest the time or energy to find true love in the opposite sex for their kids and so those kids enter the unstable teen years with no clear direction.
Research from the PBS series "Frontline," the Atlantic, National Geographic and other sources shows that puberty can make teens make bad decisions.
In other words, once puberty sets in, the body takes over and the mind is hijacked and
that is why teens grow up to be either depressed and cutting themselves or grow up to be so-called adults in college who indulge in exciting and dangerous activity (example: binge drinking, drug abuse) or
have an epidemic of divorces since
so-called adults allow their bodies to rule relationships ( example: lust, thrill or excitement is given more priority than common sense ) and
that is why children are wiser when it comes to true love than so-called adults since
children do not have a sex drive to overrule good judgment.
In other words, true love is the antidote to dangerous activities, sexual impropriety and pre-marital sex.
Once you convince your children that true love is the most important thing in their lives,help them find it and
help them nurture it in a family atmosphere ( example: the potential future spouse is involved in all family activities)
until they are old enough to marry their true love ( no dates before marriage ) because
there is a greater chance of divorce due to dating and its emphasis on the physical aspects of a relationship.
The family atmosphere emphasizes the spiritual aspect of a relationship which is the true determinant of a life long marriage.
There is a growing body of research that indicates peer mentoring can contribute to empathy development in children, both in the mentors themselves and, in some cases, the mentees.
Here are some key aspects and findings from the research:
1. Empathy as a Core Component of Effective Mentoring:
Many theoretical models of youth mentoring, such as the one proposed by Jean Rhodes, identify empathy, trust, and mutuality as foundational building blocks for successful mentoring relationships.
This suggests that empathy is not just an outcome, but also a characteristic that helps make mentoring effective in the first place. Studies have shown that mentor empathy predicts mentor perceptions of relationship quality and, in some cases, mentee perceptions of relationship quality.
This highlights that when mentors are empathetic, the relationship is stronger, which can then lead to better developmental outcomes for the mentee.
2. How Mentoring Fosters Empathy (Mechanisms):
Perspective-Taking: As discussed, when a child takes on a mentoring role, they are inherently required to understand the mentee's perspective, challenges, and feelings to provide effective support. This active process strengthens their cognitive empathy skills.
Responsibility and Prosocial Behavior: Mentoring fosters a sense of responsibility and care for another individual. Engaging in prosocial behaviors (helping, supporting, guiding) often leads to a deeper understanding of the other person's needs and emotions, reinforcing empathetic responses.
Emotional Literacy: Mentors may learn to identify and respond to their mentee's emotions, improving their own emotional vocabulary and understanding. Similarly, mentees who feel understood and supported by their mentors may become more attuned to their own emotions and those of others.
Exposure to Diverse Experiences: Peer mentoring programs can intentionally connect children from different backgrounds, fostering a broader understanding and empathy for diverse perspectives.
3. Research on Mentees' Empathy Development:
While research has long acknowledged the social-emotional benefits of mentoring for mentees, directly measuring empathy improvement in mentees has been a challenge, often due to reliance on self-report questionnaires which can be less reliable for measuring empathy in children.
However, more recent studies, including those using controlled laboratory settings, are providing stronger evidence.
For example, some research supports the hypothesis that mentees' empathic accuracy (their ability to accurately infer the emotions of others) can improve in the presence of a mentor and with longer mentoring durations. Some studies indicate that mentored children, particularly those from lower socioeconomic backgrounds, can show improved prosocial behavior, which is closely related to empathy.
4. Benefits for Mentors:
Many studies highlight the significant benefits to the mentors themselves, including increased self-esteem, confidence, leadership skills, and, importantly, enhanced empathy and prosocial behaviors. The act of giving support can be as impactful, if not more so, than receiving it.
5. Programmatic Considerations for Effectiveness:
Research consistently shows that the quality and duration of the mentoring relationship are crucial for positive outcomes. Longer, more consistent, and higher-quality relationships lead to greater benefits.
Training and ongoing support for mentors are vital. Mentors who receive training in empathy, communication, and understanding child development are better equipped to foster positive relationships and, in turn, facilitate empathy development in their mentees.
Careful matching of mentors and mentees (e.g., based on interests, needs, background) can also enhance relationship quality and program effectiveness.
In conclusion, while directly isolating and measuring empathy as a specific outcome in every study is complex, the strong evidence for the social-emotional benefits of peer mentoring, coupled with theoretical models emphasizing empathy's role, strongly supports the idea that peer mentoring is an effective strategy for fostering empathy in children.
Once mentorship leads to romantic love, the next step is to nurture that love in a family atmosphere ( example: the potential future spouse is involved in all family activities and through chaperoned video chats )
until they are old enough to marry their true love ( no dates before marriage ) because
there is a greater chance of divorce due to dating and its emphasis on the physical aspects of a relationship.
The family atmosphere emphasizes the spiritual aspect of a relationship which is the true determinant of a life long marriage.
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